The Boring Euro 2012 Guide

With Ivica Olic missing the tournament due to an injury, there are 12 players representing Bayern at this year’s Euro. Coming up are these guys’ chances to play and the dates you have to mark in your calendar if you want to see how they’re doing, basically just stuff you can find anywhere but what would the internet be without numerous websites telling you the same things with different words?

This might shock you but the highest number of Bayern players can be found playing for the German national team. Manuel Neuer, Holger Badstuber, Philipp Lahm, Thomas Müller and Bastian Schweinsteiger (depending on fitness) are all set as regulars. Jerome Boateng seems to have won the battle for the second full-back position and is expected to play as well. FCB players number 7 and 8, Mario Gomez and Toni Kroos, might be a part of the starting lineup against Portugal if Miroslav Klose and Bastian Schweinsteiger respectively aren’t fit enough. If you wanna see eight familiar faces finally celebrate international success, make sure to follow Germany.

A direct opponent of the German team will be the Netherlands. While captain Mark van Bommel doesn’t count as a Bayern player anymore, at least on paper, winger Arjen Robben is a definite starter and surely already looking forward to a battle with teammate Philipp Lahm. Follow the Netherlands to see Robben score the deciding goal of the final because fuck, it’s about time.

Co-hosts Ukraine aren’t expected to survive the group stage but anything is possible when your team is led by captain Anatoliy Tymoshchuk. The presence of the central midfielder, the combination of his blonde hair and the yellow shirt will make opponents stand in awe. Watch Tymo on his journey to hoisting the trophy in Kyiv on July 1, follow the Ukraine.

The leg-breaking sliding tackles of Tymoshchuk will be one thing the French team will have to look out for. One man who certainly would play despite a broken leg is Franck Ribery who looks determined to make up for the ugly mess that was the last World Cup. Finally gaining some popularity in France thanks to excellent pre-tournament performances, Ribery wouldn’t be the craziest choice as potential player of the tournament if you’re still looking for bets. Follow France to see opposing right-backs cry and Franck Ribery dominate the Euro.

Last but most certainly not least…well…actually kind of least…is Danijel Pranjic who’s set to destroy Spain’s right wing…if he starts. With Vedran Corluka apparently having to help out as center back,  it looks like either Ivan Strinic or Pranjic will be Croatia’s left-back. If you wanna see Pranjic act as absolute world-class full-back or bench warmer, leading the country to the biggest success since the third place back in 1998, follow Croatia.

Now you know the names but not the times, making this situation the exact opposite of a blind date. But don’t panic, I’m here to provide you with the highly exclusive schedule. Here are the relevant group matches for a Bayern fan who doesn’t want to watch it all (shame on you):

  • June 9
      • Netherlands v Denmark
      • Germany v Portugal
  • June 10
      • Ireland v Croatia
  • June 11
      • France v England
      • Ukraine v Sweden
  • June 13
      • Netherlands v Germany
  • June 14
      • Italy v Croatia
  • June 15
      • Ukraine v France
  • June 17
      • Portugal v Netherlands
      • Denmark v Germany
  • June 18
      • Croatia v Spain
  • June 19
      • England v Ukraine
      • Sweden v France

Kickoff times are usually 8.45pm (click for local time), matches marked in red begin at 6pm (again, click link for your local time).

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1 Response to The Boring Euro 2012 Guide

  1. elenrod says:

    Germany has the most Bayern players? Surely that’s a typo.

    (Btw, hoping for Poland to advance 2nd in their group–as well as for Germany to advance 1st in theirs–so I can see Lahm & co finally beat that punk Lewandowski and those two other thugs.

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